Funny Bone

"5 vs 4000" "This pie is $4000 billion/year. $5 billion represents 5/4000 or 1/800th of this pie."
"10% vs 90%" what shuts down (less than 10%) and what keeps going (over 90%!).
graphiccreated by congressman Thomas Massie at @RepThomasMassie

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23 December 2018
politico The ‘all-I-want-for-Christmas-is-$5-billion-for-the-wall’ shutdown
All of which means that a government that spends $3.8 trillion annually is being disrupted over 0.005 percent of its annual budget.

In fact, the 2018 Christmas shutdown is starting to look a lot like 2013 — when government funding lapsed for 16 days — or 1995-96, when a partisan showdown between Bill Clinton and Newt Gingrich lasted 21 days.

25 December 2018
CBSnews It's not going to reopen until we have a wall or a fence.
Washington — As the government remains partially closed through the holidays, President Trump said the impasse in budget negotiations will continue until his $5 billion demand for border wall funding is met. He spoke to reporters in the Oval Office on Christmas morning.

"I can't tell you when the government is going to reopen," Mr. Trump said after hosting a video conference call with U.S. troops stationed overseas to thank them for their service. "I can tell you it's not going to reopen until we have a wall, a fence, whatever they'd like to call it. I'll call it whatever they want, but it's all the same thing."

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Photo courtesy @Thomas1774Paine

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A polar bear appeared to be praying for a cold winter after being seen placing his huge paws together and looking up at the sky.
The cub bear was pictured seemingly looking up to the heavens and asking for divine intervention in the animal's current plight.
Temperatures in their Alaskan habitat are higher than usual and as a result the pack have been left stranded on land waiting for the ice to freeze.
Until temperatures drop and more ice freezes after melting during the spring, the polar bears cannot go and find seals.

The male juvenile bear made the plea to a higher power just before he went to sleep, while his while his mother and sister were already napping.

Photographer, Shayne McGuire, captured the beautiful bear in Barter Island, Alaska, on the October 7.
She said: 'It was nap time for the bear, his mum and sister had already curled up, yet, there he sat, contemplating something, that we will never know.
'Then he looked up at the sky, raised his head and paws, and I heard one of my group say 'he is praying for the ice to freeze.'
'It is late in the season and yet, very little snow.
' I have seen global warming affect their habitat, I have been going since 2013 and there has always been snow in late September, early October.
'In 2015, there were snow storms and the snow was deep.
'Since then, I have been in early October to mid October and have had some ice, very little snow.'

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The most difficult Wi-Fi password ever! Chinese university makes students answer calculus question to unlock internet access
Students at the elite Nanjing University of Aeronautics and Astronautics are asked to solve a complex calculus question before they could access the protected network. 'Wi-Fi password is the first eight digits of the math problem below,' the sign indicated in Chinese.

Ji jun, deputy director of the university's food administration department, told Beijing News that it is a basic question in further maths. 'If a student can't solve it, he/she should really study harder,' she said. 'Don't use the Internet!' The school decided to come up with the question to let pupils have fun with mathematics and to remind first-year students to study hard, she added.

One student told reporters that if a a person has practiced enough, you should be able to solve the equation in 30 seconds. Some posted images of their answers online, completed with steps showing their work. The answer - which is a familiar number to many - is actually 31415926, or pi.

Thai restaurant in San Antonio, Texas, created a brilliant way to make sure that nobody camped out at their restaurant for free Wi-Fi, but still gave its customers the ability to log on to their network. If they're a super math nerd, that is.

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Photo courtesy Weibo / Nanhang Dining Hall

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A lesson on how to park a car somehow turned into a swim at the community pool.
Maryland’s Montgomery County Fire and Rescue service says it found a car sitting in the middle of a city’s pool over the weekend following a "driver error" during parking practice session.
Photographs posted on Twitter showed the car halfway submerged in the pool at the North Creek Community Center - which had been closed for the season.

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Photo courtesy Montgomery County Fire & Rescue Service

A True Fairytale Wedding
Imagine being the wedding photographer in this scenario. You know you’ve got a hilarious photo opportunity, but you can’t really interrupt the proceedings because you don’t want to ruin the moment. Would you just shoot this and let the couple be surprised when you deliver the final set of photos?

THIS. IS. SPARTA!!!
Oh, bird fights—so tiny, hilarious, and cute. These two are different species, and it looks like they’re well aware of it. Why else would you boot someone who’s just trying to enjoy a seedy little snack? Mother Nature is beyond tough when you really think about it.

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Cargo Overboard
This cargo ship came so close to toppling over. The drivers of the rescue boats don’t look too concerned. Maybe the ship was more controlled than it looks to be in the picture. Believe it or not, it didn’t flip. No one was hurt, but it made for some insane photos. Unbelievably, only four of those large shipping containers ended up in the water.
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Photo courtesy livestly.com